A Mother's Bonding
By Brenda Hyde
We've all read about the different types of bonding: mother and baby,
fathers and sons, mothers and daughters and so on. There is even
controversy surrounding types of bonding! Maybe it's just not that
complicated. I think bonding is finding that special activity that is
unique to you and your child. Something that creates memories that will
always be with them, and make them smile. For my two boys and I, it's
something a little different and it's just between us. Their Dad gives
us odd looks while it's going on. We just laugh. We sit together, the
three of us, with Mom in the middle, and we watch cooking shows. That's
right. Cooking. We have been doing this since they were too young to
even know what was actually going on. I suppose it was my little "adult"
break
when they were younger.
I kept waiting for them to tire of this activity as they got older but
they are now 5 and 6 and ask ME to find a cooking show for us to watch!
We like to watch the Food Network, and one day as we watched Martha
bake cookies, the boys questioned her. "Hey, what kind of cookie
cutters is she using?", as if she might not be doing it correctly. Boys
after my own heart. Then
we watched a special on Ball Park food. The hotdog part of the show was
their favorite, until they got to the desserts. They apparently take
after me
on that one! As I sat there between them and we were
all laughing, I realized that the three of us would always remember
these times. Maybe when I am a Grandma we will sit and watch cooking
shows with their babies, all smashed together on a couch, their wives
giving us odd looks, wondering how we started this tradition. Best of
all, even when I am not with them, hopefully they will think of me every
time they watch a cooking show and smile at the memories.
I think it's important that we remember that "bonding" takes all shapes
and forms.
There is no set formula for connecting with your children. Don't assume
because they are boys that they might not enjoy "Mom" activities, just
as Dad's should be open to their daughters enjoying "Dad" things.
Memories are treasured during a person's lifetime because of the
emotions behind the moment. We have to be
sensitive to the fact that a walk in the woods, or a special trip to the
store, or even
a quiet afternoon reading together could be a memory that will be
treasured forever.
It's not always the big, flashy moments that stick with a child. After
all, how many Moms remember that first tiny, but beautiful, smile from
our child? It was a flash of a moment in our life, but one we will
always treasure.
About the author
Brenda Hyde is a wife and Mom of three, a freelance writer, and editor of Seeds of Knowledge.
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